Brick
Today's song is 'Brick' by Ben Folds and/or Ben Folds Five, whichever be your preference. I don't think I will ever get tired of this song, and I can't imagine going through what Ben talks about in it. I'm sure everyone knows the song, but here is a download anyway.
This weekend I was involved in a lot of conversations regarding the 'When Harry Met Sally' complex. Jenny and I even had to pop in the dvd and watch the movie on Saturday evening. If you are unfamiliar with the movie, it is all about whether or not guys and girls can be friends. We talked about many questions regarding this topic. Do you think that when you are in a committed relationship that it is acceptable to be friends with other people of the opposite sex? Do you think that people can be friends after being in a relationship? Do you feel like Harry in the movie and say that no guy can be friends with any girl that he finds attractive "because the sex part always gets in the way"? Or do you feel like Sally and say that...well, actually, I'm not sure Sally ever said her actual opinion. She was probably too busy ordering something 'on the side'. There is one part in the movie, the second time in which Harry and Sally meet when Harry asks Sally to have dinner with him, as friends. She brings up his theory, and this is his response (which I love):
No, no, no, I never said that... Yes, that's right, they can't be friends. Unless both of them are involved with other people, then they can... This is an amendment to the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted... That doesn't work either, because what happens then is, the person you're involved with can't understand why you need to be friends with the person you're just friends with. Like it means something is missing from the relationship and why do you have to go outside to get it? And when you say "No, no, no it's not true, nothing is missing from the relationship," the person you're involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you're just friends with, which you probably are. I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let's face it. Which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can't be friends.
So, does anyone have any opinions on this subject? If so, please share. Over the weekend, we did not find an answer and were on a mission to find out how other people feel. However, considering the fact that I have many guy friends, I tend to not agree with the theory.
Also of note, Jenny moved home to St. Louis yesterday. It was a very sad day.
posted by Karyn @ 1:12 PM
4 comments
4 Comments:
1) Do you think that when you are in a committed relationship that it is acceptable to be friends with other people of the opposite sex?
-- YES, as long as the person you're in the relationship doesn't get jealous.
2)Do you think that people can be friends after being in a relationship?
-- SOMETIMES, usually not though
3) Do you feel like Harry in the movie and say that no guy can be friends with any girl that he finds attractive "because the sex part always gets in the way"?
-- PROBABLY SO... it is not easy, for sure.
Funny that you mention that in the last part. This is one of my favorite lines in the movie (the last one by Harry):
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry: No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Oh, I also agree with both of you that it is okay to be friends with someone of the opposite sex while in a committed relationship, and it is, but rarely, possible to be friends after being in a relationship. The last question, I don't have an answer to (since I'm not a guy).
Just passing by and thought I'd add my view.
1 - Yes Guys and Girls can be friends, most of my mates are men and you can be friends even when in a commited relationship, none of my ex-partners have been jealous of my relationship with my friends, as they were all aware of the situation from the beginning. Although for their sakes I stopped staying over my lad mates places and sharing a bed with them, which is only common decency anyway.
2 - I'm still very good mates with my ex's, yes there's sometimes a little bit of jealousy and a little bitchiness occasionally, when they find new partners but if it ended amicably then there's no reason why you can't be good mates still.
3 - Not sure on this one, not being a bloke, however I know a couple of them that do have feelings for me but are content just to keep the friendship as it's better than nothing and they live in hope, that one day I'd get it on with them.
As long as they're aware that there's no chance there's no reason why they can't be good mates either.
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