Weed Party

What constitutes a "weed"?

While working in the yard lately (you know you want a life as exciting as mine), I have been thinking a lot about weeds and plants and trees and shrubs and flowers and the growth of all the aforementioned things. The previous tenants of the house let much of the yard become overgrown and...dead. There are a few "trees" that are quite misplaced and I believe they may have started as a "weed" of sorts. This got me to thinking, how have we labeled what is weed and what is not? If we define the word as "a valueless plant growing wild, especially one that grows on cultivated ground to the exclusion or injury of the desired crop" then what constitutes value? The kamikaze trees in my yard are not necessarily hindering any crops as I do not ordinarily grow wheat or corn in my yard. However, I do feel that they are valueless and quite ugly.

Which leads to definition numero dos of "any undesirable or troublesome plant, especially one that grows profusely where it is not wanted." In which case, these trees could be called weeds. But what did the poor trees ever do to me? Do they not have a right to live in my yard just as much as the larger trees and shrubs next to them? How did these trees come about if no one planted them there? I used to think there was only one type of weed and that was the type that, when I was a wee lass, I would spend hours looking through trying desperately to find one of the four leaf variety. I would dream of going north to find dandelions that I could blow in the wind, unbeknownst to me that it was quite possibly one of the most well-known weeds and I would grow to one day despise the little indestructible nuisances.

I suppose that the term is a subjective one. Ah, of course. I should have just looked here to begin with.