God Bless America

In case you missed it, Independence Day was this week. And I live in our Nation's Capital. Kind of.

Despite the Severe Thunderstorm Warning (and the thunder and the lightning and the rain), my family and I decided to hit the city for the Fireworks show. As Planner, I decided that we would metro to Arlington Cemetery, walk across Memorial Bridge, and sit on the stairs of the Lincoln Memorial. Shockingly, it turned out to be a fabulous plan. We arrived around 6:30 to take our spot on the stairs. As the Fireworks were set to begin at 9:10, we were bored almost instantaneously. We people watched and laughed at the fashion monstrosities. We sent Steve for food. We took pictures of ourselves. THEN! Krista and I realized we could combine two of the above and make a contest out of it. So, we played, "Who can spot AND capture on camera the worst fashion disaster?"

I present my entries:

Side pony tail. Ugly yellow shirt. SHOULDER PADS.



Did someone go to the Dog groomer before hitting the Monuments?



Not only does he look prettier than his girlfriend, he also walks 10 feet in front of her.



Nude. NUDE. Have you never heard of nude panties?



Taking the white clothing trend a bit. too. far.



Tight. Short. Fat. Eyes. Burning.



"It like totally sucks that Hot Topic is closed today, guys. I think my feet are sweating in these Converse All Stars but my mom told me to at least attempt to wear a patriotic color."



No words can describe this awesomeness.



"Do you think I'm not aware that my roots need retouching? My mom stole my stock of black dye, okay?! And I already told you that Hot Topic was closed today. Now let me eat my sub."



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It got dark. I had to turn the camera off. But prior to that, a joint entry because the lady was sitting ON TOP OF ME and I had to lean back so Krista could get this shot:



Yes, this lady that decided to sit ON TOP OF ME for OVER AN HOUR. As if the feet were not bad enough, she stank of citronella. It took all I had not to regurgitate my soft pretzel.

To rid your mind: "Do you think I could get a taste of that sweet action?"



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Now, Krista's entries:

Mork called, he wants his Fourth of July outfit back.



Sisters. They think alike.



The Washington National Opera House is the other way.



This one wasn't so much the outfit, but the attitude that accompanied it. She walked up and down pushing us out of her way at least 5 times. Oh, and her heels were the same fugly color as her shirt and belt.



Soccer moms of the world - UNITE!





"I can't find my family. I think they abandoned me. I just can't put my finger on why they would do that."



Remember her? When she wasn't sucking in like in this photo, her shirt would roll up and the bulge would emerge like in the photo up above.



"Wow. All this people watching has given me a crick in my back."




That's it! Now vote for your favorite fashion disaster in the comments.


Oh, and in case you were wondering about the Fireworks. They were amazing and we had the best view in the city.