Like a goalie tending the net (in the third quarter)

All the cool kids are talking up the World Cup. Frankly, I am quite sick of it. I am not quite in the "No. More. Wire. Hangers!" stage yet but I am at the "What is with this sock scrunchy in my shoe?" phase. I have tried. I check the BBC page daily to keep up-to-date with the scores, to find out what countries have been eliminated, and to read up on all the bad puns about the US being kept in Czech. The truth is, I do not get it. I have expressed my interest in attending a DC United match on numerous occasions (because maybe if I witness a game in person the rules will become more clear). However, I cannot bring myself to feasibly understand a sport who's clock COUNTS UP. How can you play a game in which the object is to have the most points/goals at then end if you do not know how much time is left! (Please note the absence of the question mark and the presence of the exclamation point. I do not wish someone to explain this to me. I know quite well that people who actually understand the sport probably know how much time is left but to those of us who prefer our football a la Americana and know nothing of this "futbol," it does not make a bit of sense. Soccer fanatics have attempted to explain the clock to me and I still do not understand it.) Furthermore, how can I get behind a sport in which ties are commonplace and not a rare occurrence? What is the point if there is no winner? It really does pain me to admit my lack of love for something that is so inherent in the British culture. That is, the culture in which I wish I was a part. Call me an ignorant American if you want to, I really don't care. I plan on watching the World Cup final solely for the hotness of the players. The vast majority of soccer players are most likely more attractive than the majority of football players (save the QB...and Jason Taylor). Then again, I may be basing this on a limited number of known soccer stars. Or one. At any rate, am I alone in this? Am I the only one who is not jumping on the World Cup bandwagon? Am I the only one who is secretly jumping for joy that this only comes around once every four years?