Expo '86

Like the vast majority of American girls, I passed many hours playing with my Barbie dolls. Everyday it was a surprise to see who would get to marry Ken. Would it be Safari Barbie? Peaches 'N Cream Barbie? Or the conventional pick, Wedding Fantasy Barbie? No matter which was chosen, the same thing happened every. single. day. They got married. They moved into the house with the pool and the horse. They had little Cabbage Patch figure babies (or on the really special days there would be an auction for all the married Barbie couples to adopt all the Cabbage Patches not unlike the auction that the Care Bears would have because it was too easy for the mom and dad Care Bears to give birth to the matching set of child Care Bears). And the little Cabbage babies got miniature My Little Pony's for their birthday. I had two Ken dolls, one with blonde hair that came in beach wear and the normal dark-haired Ken who had the wedding tux. Even though I preferred my dark-haired Ken, I hated the wedding tux and loved the beach outfit. Therefore, I would strip blonde Ken, put his clothes on dark-haired Ken and VOILA! A beach wedding. Barbie would wear a bathing suit and skirt and they would both go barefoot (because those dang little shoes would be inevitably eaten by the couch).

Never did Barbie have to pay her own bills or take care of her own car trouble. Barbie never lived on her own. Barbie never knew what it was like to be single. Barbie never felt what it was like to watch all of her friends live out dreams of marriage and babies while she sat on the sidelines trying to make something of her life without someone yet to share it with.

There are days when the ecstasy of singledom is pouring itself out of every pore in my body.

This is not one of those days.