Penitentiary Bound

Thanks to all of you who have called, emailed, and commented here about the verdict last week. It is difficult to explain how I felt about it, and that is why I have not yet mentioned it here.

When the call came in that there would be a verdict shortly, I began to feverishly refresh the court tv website. Krista was on the phone with me as we awaited the announcement. When I saw it, I could barely speak. All I could say is, "Oh my God. She's guilty." My voice and hands began to shake. I could here the same affects in Krista over the phone. Sadness overwhelmed me. I was surprised at this feeling. I knew she was guilty, but why was I so shocked and saddened that she was declared as such? Had she been found not guilty, I would have been extremely angry.

After some reflection on the situation, I have come to realize that the sadness stemmed from knowing that a group of 12 people with limited knowledge of the situation unanimously agreed that she was guilty as charged. They did not know Todd. They never interacted with Cindy. They've never met Todd's son. And they did not witness years of intolerable behavior by a mother of four. Based on the limited facts that were presented to them, they saw her guilt. They were completely unbiased, yet could see the core of the situation.

Two days later, an interview that Cindy had with Good Morning America aired. Her faux sorrow and "love" was completely transparent and I began to get over my sadness. Later that day while running on the treadmill at the gym, part of the interview was on the local news. I was angry that she had brought Todd's life to national television screens. I was angry that all the strangers around me could look up and see photos of him and his son. I cannot even begin to explain how bizarre it is to see something that hits so close to home all over the television and Internet. I just hope and pray that this is the end and his family will finally have peace.